Physical and mental wear from trying to change all habits at once before summer is a reality.
Each time of year brings its own feeling, and many people say that May brings accumulated fatigue, frustration, and a sense of physical and mental exhaustion. Well-being is no longer understood solely as self-care but has in many cases become a new form of personal demand. The constant need to perform better, look better, eat perfectly, or maintain ideal habits has ended up generating what many experts already identify as a form of emotional saturation associated with burnout and the pressure to optimize every aspect of daily life.
Signs that self-care is self-demand
Many people do not abandon their habits due to lack of willpower, but because they try to sustain overly rigid and demanding routines, often following a "black-and-white mentality that does not handle shades of gray."
1. You feel guilty when you don't follow the "perfect" routine
When well-being no longer generates calm and begins to cause anxiety or a sense of failure, self-demand is probably taking the place of self-care. Pilar Conde, psychologist at Clínicas Origen, explains that "when desire and goal become demand, internal punishment begins to appear, through dissatisfaction, self-disappointment, criticism, guilt..."
The expert recalls that "self-care requires effort and commitment, but it brings well-being, not anxiety. If self-care turns into this, self-demand is likely intervening." Therefore, it is key to be clear about our purpose, since it is normal for adverse situations to arise along the way that will challenge our motivation: "It is essential to connect deeply with what we want to adapt motivation and long-term commitment."
2. You try to change too many things at once
Another sign is that changing diet, starting to exercise, sleeping better, being more productive, and maintaining a social life all at the same time usually generates mental and emotional overload. Sara Ayuso, nutritionist, points out that "trying to change many habits at once involves a huge amount of energy. Each new habit requires attention, decisions, adaptation, and conscious movement."
In fact, a drastic change in our routines makes our brain enter a dynamic of overload, exhaustion, and constant stress, which can "alter our automatisms and demand more self-control, which is not infinite, it runs out." Thus, our body and mind enter 'survival' mode, and "in this state it is harder to make conscious decisions: from meal planning to maintaining rest routines, everything requires more energy." All this directly affects the relationship with food and makes it harder to maintain healthy habits.
3. Your diet depends on fatigue and stress
When survival mode is activated, our body may use food as a form of emotional regulation, because "the brain looks for quick solutions that provide relief or immediate reward, so the most common thing is to resort to sweet and ultra-processed foods or eat impulsively."
4. You experience well-being from an "all or nothing" perspective
One of the most frequent mistakes is thinking that a healthy routine only works if it is followed 100%. However, the experts recall that easy and sustainable habits need flexibility and adaptation. Sara explains that "the problem with many 'perfect' routines is that they require too much planning, energy, and control, which is hard to maintain when there is stress or accumulated fatigue. Ultimately, success in any change lies in flexibility."
As advice, the nutritionist gives us 4 small tips to achieve big changes:
- Normalize flexibility: not all meals have to be ideal.
- Add instead of forbid: incorporate more protein, fiber, fruits, vegetables, or water.
- Listen to your body's signals: sleeping little, living with stress, or arriving hungry at the end of the day influences how we eat.
- Prioritize regularity over perfection: in the end, "the most sustainable changes are usually the simplest and most realistic," she notes.
Along the same lines, Pilar Conde points out that "it's not about doing it perfectly, but about trying again without guilt, recognizing our limits and accompanying ourselves with the same understanding we would offer someone we love."
5. You rest less precisely when you try to take care of yourself more
Many people turn well-being into an endless list of tasks and goals that end up generating even more exhaustion. Pilar Conde recalls that "sustained motivation over time requires awareness and connection with internal reinforcements, with our why." Sara Ayuso, nutritionist at Clínicas Dorsia, indicates that "what really transforms a routine is not usually an extreme effort for two weeks, but habits realistic enough to be maintained for years."
